Just Autumn Shackled

4 8 15 16 23 42

The Confession and THE END

I just came to the realization that the love I have felt for you for so long has not been the burning passion I imagined it to be. Rather it is the powerful love you feel for someone special that has come in to your life. I know we will never see each other the way I had once wanted us to. No, now I understand that there are many many many different kinds of love and I can accept the kind where we only love each other like friends like us do. 

I see now that the moment where we looked into each others eyes and all chaos ended was not the realization of eternal love, rather it was the understanding of a perfect friendship. The understanding that when we walk away at the end of the day we leave that friendship only between us. We don’t carry it on to our new lives the way lovers would. No we keep it in the back of our minds and pull that memory -however small it was- out and remember we were once loved for all the right reasons. For the kindness we showed to each other, the laughs we shared, that we loved eachother for our minds and the capability to understand each other. But not for the way we touched or held each other, rather for the way we could look at each other and share the private joke that no one else got. 

But now it is time for me to put that sweet and blissful memory to the back of my mind, to pull it out on rainy days where my memories are what warm me up when drenched in self pity.

Goodbye my first love, good by for… I don’t know how long.